ICYMI: April Fools’ Articles

Epic Pilots Go-Live Service Dogs
Team reports big early payoff in staff wellbeing
The physician experience is about to get an unconventional and adorable boost. In a pilot program at four local facilities, Epic is training service dogs for a dual role of at-the-elbow emotional support and simple problem ticket resolution.
Industry insiders are optimistic that Epic is on the right track. Taylor Davis from KLAS, head of the company’s Arch Collaborative for physician experience was frank, “Look, it doesn’t matter who you are – sometimes, go-live can be ruff. This training feels like a step in the right direction.”
While reports from the field are still early, the canines have proven very effective in their emotional support role. The technical support side, however, is mixed. One nurse remarked, “I had a printer issue and the pup just kind of tilted his head at the screen. He ended up resting his chin on my knee until human support came. Even just that … it really helped!”

Ready Surgeon One
Comprehensive care for online avatars now includes the virtual OR
With the release of Epic’s One Virtual System Worldwide at HIMSS 2018, awareness of the healthcare needs of digital avatars has been growing. Whether it’s a plasma burn, zombie bite, or giant broadsword wound, online trauma can make us feel almost as bad as an injury in real life.
Epic’s Ready Surgeon One initiative aims to fill this need by allowing surgeons to don VR headsets and perform pro-bono virtual surgeries in a lifelike virtual operating room. “I used to be an adventurer,” said one patient, “until a battle axe practically cut me in half. Ready Surgeon One matched me with a skilled surgeon who put me back together and got me back into the game.”
Several benefits were observed during the recently-completed beta phase:
- Time savings: Much faster than re-creating or manually healing an avatar.
- Physician empowerment: Laws of physics need not apply here.
- Provider satisfaction: It’s an ideal world, so there are no regulatory requirements.
- Surgical fellowship optional: Anyone can be a surgeon – an EMT, a primary care doc, or an adventurous social worker.
An Epic spokesman said in an early-morning tweet, “Ready Surgeon One set out to help simulated online entities avoid game over.” He continued “Now, we’re seeing better care for the avatar, better health for the general population of avatars, and lower overall cost for avatar care – achieving the Triple Aim for the avatar community.”

