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Long-Rumored Epic Kool-Aid Recipe Finally Released

Verona, WI — To comply with the new transparency guidelines released by the Office of the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology (ONC), Epic is revealing its long-held secret Kool-Aid recipe that has bolstered the company’s achievements in the healthcare IT field for several decades. Epic Kool-Aid has long been speculated as the primary reason for Epic’s success.

A complex molecule designed in the original offices of Epic, EPICEPHRINE impacts several neurotransmitters at once. Targeting cortical norepinephrine release, the molecule causes the recipient to experience a subsequent increase in learning, while enhancing both the attention and focus.

Similar to some newer SSRIs, the molecule helps to maintain higher levels of serotonin, giving the recipient a heightened sense of well-being, while increasing the effectiveness of memory processing. When mixed with a variety of fruity-flavored beverages in a rainbow of electric colors, a state of mindful clarity is achieved.

Now that the Epic Kool-Aid recipe is public, other healthcare software vendors report that they’re working on their own variations of the drink, predicting that their flavors will be “tastier, lower in calories, and more interoperable.”

Epic is not releasing its “secret sauce” recipe, since it is mostly just mushroom soup.

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